


horns

by orphan_account



Series: July Prompts [10]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Kix is a Good Bro, M/M, No Angst, cody vs. pineapple, fives is just fives, jesse is skeptical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:54:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25253431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “What thefuckis that?” Jesse snapped, blaster pointedly threateningly at the offending object, and Hardcase quickly moved in front of it.“It’s afruit!” Hardcase snaps.
Relationships: Hardcase/CT-5597 | Jesse
Series: July Prompts [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1812328
Comments: 5
Kudos: 72





	horns

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #10: Pineapple, Jesse/Hardcase

“What the _fuck_ is _that_?” Jesse snapped, blaster pointedly threateningly at the offending object, and Hardcase quickly moved in front of it.

“Do you know how many favors I had to call in to get this here?” Hardcase hissed, glancing around the common area before holding up his hands. “Just... put the blaster down. Nice and easy.”

“Hells no.” Jesse growls, eyes wide and pupils blown. “‘Case, _back away_.”

“It’s a _fruit_!” Hardcase snaps, and Fives’ head jerks up so fast his neck cracks.

“ _What_ is it?”

Hardcase ignored him. “Jesse, would I ever put your life in danger?”

“All the time.”

“Without hesitation.” Echo chimed unhelpfully, not even looking up from his datapad, and Hardcase threw him a dirty look.

“Listen, it’s _good_ , I promise. Just trust me, yeah?”

The blaster dipped in indecision before finally lowering, but Jesse still eyed him warily. “It has _horns_.”

“Thorns.” Hardcase corrects with a grin, before reaching behind his back to draw the fruit back out, holding it up triumphantly.

Fives stalked forward with brows furrowed, Jesse following reluctantly. “ _Ew_... Why does it look like Maul?”

“Beats me.” Hardcase plopped it down onto the table, startling Echo into dropping the ‘pad. “Anyone got a knife?”

Jesse wordlessly unsheathed a vibroblade, but hesitated. Hardcase huffed.

“I’ll give it back, it’ll be fine.”

“It’s gonna get _dirty_.” Jesse grumbled, handing it over with a scowl.

“Then I’ll clean it.” Hardcase paused. “Does anyone know how to cut a pineapple?”

“Where did you get that?” Kix made his way over carefully, eyes wide.

“Irrelevant.” Hardcase shrugged, vibroblade hovering above the pineapple. “Should I just... cut it?”

Fives poked at a thorn curiously before hissing in pain. “Huh. Little fuckers actually work.”

Jesse wrinkled his nose in disgust. “I don’t know about this. Won’t Rex be mad?”

“Mad about what?”

They all snapped to attention instantaneously, even Echo, who nearly tripped over the couch in an attempt to save face. Rex raised a brow.

“Well?”

“Uh, sir.” Hardcase began awkwardly, glancing over at Jesse helplessly, and the scout huffed.

“Sir, we’ve recently acquired a pineapple and aren’t sure exactly what to... do with it.”

Rex rolled his eyes. “You eat it. At ease.” He rounded Hardcase to come face-to-face with the fruit, eyeing it with much less enthusiasm than the previous troopers.

“Watch the horns.” Fives advised bitterly, and Jesse elbowed him.

“Thorns.”

“This isn’t the first time I’ve dealt with a _fruit_ , Fives.” Rex said sourly, and Hardcase offered him the vibroblade.

“Can you cut it, sir?”

Rex sighed. “No, but I know someone who can.”

* * *

Marshal Commander Cody eyed the pineapple with obvious distaste, upper lip curled but jaw set in determination nonetheless.

Rex and the others were crowded around and watching curiously, and the commander huffed.

“Really, guys? Give me some space.”

“It’s literally just a fru-“ Hardcase started, but Jesse pressed a finger to his lips to silence him.

“Quiet.”

Fives narrowed his eyes. “Watch the hor-“

“Trooper.” Cody snapped, and the ARC fell silent. The commander carefully, slowly brought the blade down, and even Echo leaned over to get a look.

It was- Surprisingly easy. The inside was a yellow-orange, much like the 212th’s colors, and Cody quickly, expertly started to cut it into pieces.

“He’s... disturbingly good at that.” Fives whispered.

“Yeah, he’s done it before.” Rex confirmed, still somber and serious. “You should ask Waxer about-“

“No.” Cody cut in sharply, pointing the vibroblade at each of them in turn. “We don’t speak of this. Ever. This is contraband, and contra-“ He nearly choked when Rex, apparently fed up with waiting, grabbed a slice of pineapple and shoved it into the commander’s mouth.

After much gagging and sympathetic pats on the back, Cody finally pulled himself back together, swallowing the rest with a grimace.

“Is it good?” Jesse asked, poised to grab his own slice, and Cody nodded, still red in the face and glaring daggers at Rex.

“Try it.” The commander finally croaked, and Hardcase lunged forward, grabbing a handful before pulling Jesse to a corner of the room.

“I didn’t even get a piece.” The scout grumbled, arms crossed and pout in place, and Hardcase held up his hand with an impatient scowl.

“Just grab one and c’mon. I got it for _us_ , not for...” He gestures vaguely to Fives and Kix, who were both actively goading each other on in shoving as much pineapple as they could in each other’s mouths. Jesse winced.

“Sorry.” He held up the pineapple, did a silent count down with Hardcase, before finally popping it into his mouth. He promptly spit it back out, keeling over, gag reflex kicking in. “ _Ew_ , I- ‘Case, that’s _disgusting_. It’s _sour_!”

“Is not.” Hardcase grinned. “Don’t be a _baby_.”

Jesse huffed and moved to brush past him, but a firm hand on his waist had him pinned back against the wall. “‘Case-“

“Just a minute.” Hardcase said distractedly, pressing up against him and tucking his face against his neck, and Jesse jerked at the first graze of teeth.

“ _Hardcase_ -“

A nip, sharp but chaste at his jawline, and Hardcase finally leaned back. “What?”

Jesse’s cheeks were red, and Hardcase, realization dawning, whipped back around with a sheepish grin. The other occupants of the room were watching them with deadpan stares, save for Fives, who gave them both an enthusiastic thumbs up.

“Eat your karking pineapple now and eat _Jesse_ later, please.” Cody said ruefully, and Hardcase, not fazed in the slightest, gave him a sloppy salute.

“Will do, sir.”

**Author's Note:**

> i researched pineapples just so i could get those pointy things terminology right and it turns out they’re thorns, but i’m with Fives so i’m still calling them horns
> 
> another very rare and random pair, but i’m willing to work with bottom jesse, so... yeah. 
> 
> also all i could think of while writing this was those cat videos of them freaking out about cucumbers?? yeah that’s the clones with pineapples
> 
> thank you for reading lovelies!!! have an amazing day <3


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